Saturday, May 12, 2007

Neologisms (them’s new words)

The following new words recently entered the language. I know because I put them there myself:

booble bombing Accidentally pulling up a NSFW site while searching for something quite innocent.

carbohydraphobia The fear of consuming too many carbohydrates.

culp fiction A fictional work such as a novel or a movie that is blamed for having inspired a notorious crime.

debtrosexual Young man who has run up his credit cards paying for dates and is now having financial difficulties.

dohzone layer Sociological stratum occupied by overstressed and undereducated Simpsonesque parents. An important election target group.

fatastrophe Large meal eaten by someone who is supposed to be on a diet.

flopaganda Press release or celebrity appearance designed to promote Glitter or Gigli, etc.

fretrosexual A person uncertain about his or her sexual orientation.

Generation WTF People born between 1955 and 1970 who were never allowed a generational label because the older baby boomers incorporated them into the previous one without their permission.

goad rage Anger resulting from deliberate incitement by others.

gymnostic Someone who thinks working out probably isn't worth the trouble.

hick flick Any movie in which farming communities are comprised almost exclusively of mental incompetents.

hitzophrenic Person who can’t stop checking the traffic stats on their website.

humilifier Wall poster of a heroic or legendary figure.

hypocracy The only form of government. Types of hypocracy include democracy, monarchy, oligarchy, plutocracy, and republic.

incompoop A bungling idiot who needs to be accomodated in order for you to keep getting your paycheck.

jelemarketer A novice telesales agent who lacks confidence and who is obviously reading from a script.

lackademic A graduate student teaching a university course.

naparazzi Elderly women swarming around a baby.

neofauxgism An unsuccessful attempt to use a new word that one has just learned.

oleanderthal An attractive but unprincipled woman. A bimbo.

opaholic Someone who has had too many cosmetic surgeries.

prigmatism Pretending to adhere to an antiquated moral outlook in order to ingratiate oneself with influential elders.

raccolade Excessive praise lavished on an attractive young woman for a comparatively modest achievement.

Rastoofarian Person incapacitated by overindulgence in marijuana.

squintessentials Important legal information written in letters too small to read.

tortological argument Corporation’s false claim that granting a customer’s reasonable request would be illegal.

trump To give someone a bad haircut.

vexculpatory evidence Voluminous and complex technical data introduced at trial purely to confuse a jury.

Viagrophobia In men: fear of some day needing viagra. In women: fear of husband’s overuse of viagra.

1 comment:

Princess Haiku said...

This list is hilarious. I read it out loud to my Standford grad, Harvard hating lackwit friend. Unless I have that backwards. I am going to link you for more of same.